Thursday, May 23, 2013

Decongesting my Life

Had a thought yesterday which I thought was quite interesting. Ever since 2006 I've had this thought in the back of my mind that I need to "DECLUTTER" and I always just thought that meant getting rid of "STUFF" as in, excess clothes, books, papers, scrapbooking stuff, basically things I don't use. I have been gradually whittling away at all the extra stuff. All the spiritually minded books I have been reading suggest that this is an important exercise in making room for new things and new adventures to come into your life.

On the way to my storage unit yesterday I had a thought, that maybe Decluttering does just refer to the "Things" in my life, maybe it also refers to emotions, thoughts and toxins that I need to clear out. Maybe its a holistic reference to removing ALL the things in my life that are holding me back - whether it be emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. Maybe I need to do a big revamp and only hold on to the things that I am going to be using all the time, the things that I really need.

The other thought that came to me when I was pondering this, was that every time I have lost weight, it has also been during a time when I have been decluttering - when I moved home from Tauranga and pulled everything out of my storage unit. I did it while my flatmate had gone overseas for two weeks. My stepdad and I spent at least a week going through all the boxes and arguing over what should be kept and what should be thrown out (I yelled at him a lot - I wasn't really emotionally ready to part with my stuff).

Then I had a huge room so I could have most of my stuff with me and just a little bit in the garage. Then when I moved to Auckland I had to put stuff into storage again - and thats when I put on weight again. Coz even though I have been losing weight lately, I've been feeling like there was some emotional issue holding me back - and I've decided this is what it is. Everytime I move, I seem to end up in a smaller room, which at first I hated, but now I think its a good thing and that I actually need to learn to live with only what I can fit into my space.

Then the next step will be a spring cleaning of emotions and mental garbage that doesn't need to be in my head space. I do need to learn to eliminate the thoughts that are holding me back. So this will be a good thing, I think.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Portrait of a girl

Quiet dreamer, silently observing. Disliking contention, though intrigued by it. Thoughtful. Serene. Curious about people, but shy of them. In wonder of the world around her but unable to go past paralysing fears to get out and explore it. In awe of brave confident people, who have made the world their oyster and have no qualms about doing whatever they like. Unable to connect with strangers, the unknown, fearful.