Un-holidays

To some people holidays are about relaxing. To me holidays are about cramming in all the things I've been wanting to do but haven't quite got around to. But this time around, owing to being sick I've been forced to take a chill pill and NOT go do all the things i wanted to do. I went to Nelson but I only lasted a few days before I was missing my own bed and wanting to come home. I felt so sick and lethargic and didn't really want to go anywhere or do anything, what a waste of time. I was annoyed at myself. But now I'm home and sleeping in my own bed which just does wonders, I really don't sleep very well when I'm away. I'm so glad to be back home. Now I just want to relax and not think about all the things I'm missing out on doing.

To go or not to go

I'm on annual leave, and I want to go away, but I also really don't. I just want to relax at home, but then I don't want to get to the end of 2 weeks and think, what a waste of my time. So I'm thinking I might go away tomorrow, or I might not. Haven't quite decided yet.

Kill me now

This morning at bootcamp I was forced to run 1km, which now that I think about it, isn't actually that far. But running it continuously was he serious!? I so didn't want to do it. I think I must have glared at him in disbelief for ages before turning around and starting. I've had a cold all week and only just came back after 3 mornings away with early shift.

I've been going to bootcamp now for about 4 1/2 months, every morning Monday to Friday at 6am for an hour, on days that I didn't have early shift or wasn't out of town. So thats a lot of hours, and so you would think that it would be quite feasible for me to be able to run that distance, I mean, its not actually that far. But it seemed like FOREVER before I started it, and while I was doing it it just seemed to go on and on and on and on.

But once I finished it, sat down, had a drink and a bit of a rest, and then I was actually quite proud of myself. Hey, I just run 1 whole kilometre! fancy that, who would have imagined that I could actually do that. It makes my long time new years resolution to run 5km continuously a whole lot more feasible. I mean, if I could run 1km then I could probably do 5km right? Well, maybe not all at once. I'm going to miss boot camp when I'm away for the next 2 weeks, but I'm hoping to get to the south island for some glorious hiking next week, so looking forward to it! Hope the weather is awesome, we'll see.

Afterwards the boss told me I was doing good and that he was going to keep pushing me to improve my fitness and abilities. When I told him i was SOO mad at him today he laughed, and said 'Yes, I could see that stubborn look on your face.' Well hes seen it before, and no doubt he will see it again before hes through with turning me into an actual athlete. But I got home and got dressed and decided I could feel some more definition in my leg muscles, not visible yet, but starting to improve, so maybe all this effort is worth it after all.

A week down

Its been a week since I quit sugar, and apart from a few headaches and niggling pains, I'm feeling quite good in general. I haven't been sleeping so good, but that could easily have been due to 5am shifts over the last couple of days. But today and tomorrow are my days off, & I'm feeling really good about life in general. My knee has been hurting since yesterday, I can't figure out why, but I've been giving it lots of rest and massages, so hopefully it will come right. Plus this morning I had a lemon & ginger herbal tea, ginger is supposed to be anti-inflammatory, so I think that will help.

The other day I had a piece of a friends birthday cake, but I decided it was only a small piece, and just to enjoy it and not feel guilty. The main thing I've cut out is chocolate, but I knew that I would crave it for the first couple of weeks, so I made myself some bitter raw sugar-free chocolate, which has been going down a treat. It has the same fatty feeling and meltiness of normal chocolate, but it doesn't make me feel like I'm on a sugar high/low. My mum tried it last night and I had to laugh at her reaction, she was horrified, then spat it out. Funnily enough it tastes sweet to me, not bitter, maybe the sugar fog is lifting and my taste buds are changing. I hope so.

I weighed myself the other day and I had lost a kilo. It amazed me because I've been trying for months to lose weight and haven't budged at all on the scales. Only a week of cutting out sugar (even with a couple of small cheats) and I've already started to shrink. I'm so amazed that all that effort of going to bootcamp for the last 4 months did nothing for my weight, but within a week of cutting out this sweet poison, its already coming off. Bootcamp has been useful for other reasons though, namely getting some muscles and having more energy.

We have a work pedometer challenge that started this week, and I'm the team captain, so I feel that I have to lead by example and attain at least 10,000 steps per day. Yesterday and the day before I got home with about 7 1/2k steps, and so spent half an hour walking in circles around the house to get up to my goal. My mum suggested last night that I just shake the pedometer, but NO! I am very averse to cheating, and that is definately cheating. I'd rather just walk around. Plus its doing my muscles some good, even if my knees are complaining right now.

Sweet Poison

A couple of months ago my boss put up on our work noticeboard an article about a pilot who had lost a heap of weight, after reading a book, Sweet Poison, by David Gillespie. I thought that sounded interesting so I finally got around to going to the library last week. I couldn't find that book but they did have a copy of the same authors book "Sweet Poison Quit Plan" which I am now in middle of reading and its one of the best books I have found for what is going on with me.

Basically I'm a sugarholic (according to all the symptoms I've been reading in the book) and I need to go cold turkey on sugar. I started 4 days ago, but yesterday I fell "off the wagon" at a friends birthday party with the cake. I thought that wasn't too bad though considering how much less sugar I've been having over the last few days. I even made myself some raw sugarfree chocolate to assist in case I get tempted, its very bitter but has the same mouth feel as chocolate.

Some of the withdrawal symptoms were an eye opener for me - as I have experienced these on previous occasions of trying to temporarily cut out chocolate (my main source of sugar) and thought that my body was falling apart, when actually no, thats my body trying to right itself after my bad habit of consuming sucrose for so many years. These include headaches, muscle pains, accelerated heartbeat, chills, insomnia, restlessness, anxiety, streaming eyes, runny nose. I haven't experienced all of them this time around, but a few, definately.

According to the book these symptoms can last a few days, or a few weeks, and for some people (women, more particularly though they're not sure why) up to three months. I'm not looking forward to this withdrawal period, but I am looking forward to the benefits they say occur after this time - namely that your taste buds recover from their sugar induced fog & that you can actually taste food properly, and that you lose weight, feel more energized and don't have crazy mood swings all the time.

My sister has said that she will do this with me, which is excellent because we both eat far too much sugar, and we're both very competitive, so I think this will be good for us both.