Wellington

I arrived in Wellington on Tuesday, its now Thursday and I will be heading home this afternoon. Its so lovely to get away, but its nice to go home as well. The first day I went traipsing all around Zealandia wildlife sanctuary, it was a beautiful sunny day (unusual for this part of the country). I saw tuatara, fish, tui, kaka's, kakariki parrots, bellbirds, hihi, wetas (uck!) and a multitude of other creatures (pied shags, ducks, some kind of quail or pheasant, and the supremely endangered takahe, a relative of the pukeko I believe, but bigger.) Word was that the takahe were extinct until a small colony was discovered high up in the mountains in the south island, so you never know, someone could discover a moa in there one day. (Moa being another extinct NZ bird) wouldn't that be interesting, apparently they used to grow up to 12ft tall. What else have I done? Yesterday I went to the wellington zoo, its a cute small place, bit of an uphill climb but lovely. Couldn't really see the cheetah -just the top of his head and his tail as he flicked it and the top of the lions back but everything else was there - chimps, baboons, dingo, african hunting dogs, otters - they were cute and chattery I've never heard them talk before they kept coming up and saying stuff to me. In the afternoon I walked out along Oriental parade that was great as well.

The Sanctity of Marriage

I believe that marriage should be, as it always has been, and should remain, between one man and one woman. In NZ a bill to redefine marriage has recently passed its first reading, which if it passes will allow two men or two women to be legally married. It was a landslide vote in the affirmative. I disagree with it. Even if it does become law, that doesn’t mean that its right. Marriage has been defined the same way for thousands of years, and I see no reason why a minority group should be allowed to redefine it just because they can scream louder than others. They’ve already taken perfectly lovely words like rainbow and hero and reshaped them according to their own specifications. Would I be allowed to start taking words from the English language and reshaping them according to the dictates of my own conscience? No. But they scream “persecution” and “hate” and “homophobe” towards anybody who disagrees with their views. What comes after redefinition of such an important word: gay adoption, polygamy, polyamory, marrying your relatives, incest? Where do you draw the line? If I were a Christian pastor and I refused to marry a gay couple because their stance disagreed with my own beliefs and what the Bible says, I would then be breaking the human rights act for discriminating against them. I can think highly of gay people but still not believe that they should be allowed to change such an important and sacred word to me as marriage. My parents were married, their parents were married, and it goes on back past where I can’t find any recorded information. From that marriage union came me. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 Marriage: One man, one woman, one flesh. Sacred and important, and not to be defined any other way.

Solo

So 90% of the time, I feel perfectly fine, happy and content with being single, with having no significant other in my life. Yet it is that other 10%, that threatens to turn my world upside down. It’s the time in the early evening, when I get home from work, feeling like I want to unload a burden, or vent, or just summarize the days events out loud to somebody, and nobody is there. I guess using flatmates as a convenient sounding board has always been what worked for me. But at the moment she is in a serious relationship, and super busy at work on top of that, we pass like ships in the night on a regular basis. Tonight I got home from a nice musical evening to a quiet house, no lights on, no tv blaring, no music playing and sat on the couch with my herbal tea and it all hit me at once. The solitude. The quiet. The aloneness. Not even birds chirping or feral cats squabbling outside to distract me from the humm of the refrigerator and the otherwise complete loneliness of my evening. I feel as though each time I develop a great travelling friendship with someone, where we hang out all the time and go on weekend road trips, and generally have a blast, they are always gradually swallowed up by that large monster known as dating, courtship and marriage. Would I like to be swallowed up by such a monster? Hard to say, having heard so many horror stories about becoming so engaged to members of the opposite sex. My last two solo girl mates are currently in somewhat serious dating relationships, and although I am very happy for both of them, I find it hard to be happy for me. Some people love and crave solitude, I only like it during the day, then I can get things done. But when you don’t even have a fat cat nudging your ankles to distract you from the silence, from what currently feels like an empty existence, the internal tears come crashing down, making me want to wallow in depression, and eat ice cream. Tomorrow the sun will rise, and all will feel perfectly right with the world, and I will embrace the day with a light heart. But for tonight, this is how I feel – as though everyone else is venturing off to far distant shores, and I am here, by myself, the last one, alone.

Plant based Diets

I've been thinking about changing my eating habits for ages now, my problem is just doing it. Its not that I lack motivation, its that I lack discipline. I realized the other day is that one of my biggest hurdles to changing is worrying about what other people think. Its not something that I should worry about - after all, my own health is my own responsibility, but I hate getting lectured. Whenever I've mentioned to anyone in my family or friends circle that I'm thinking about moving to a plant based diet (no meat, no dairy, no eggs) I tend to get shouted down by people who think they are right. I'm not saying everyone should move to a plant based diet, but even people who I thought would support me, don't. Its an interesting conundrum. Do I listen to the masses telling me I shouldn't do it? Or should I follow my own gut instinct that I should? I really want to do it in secret and not tell anyone, but eventually it would come out, when I was at someones house saying no to eating what they offer me. I thought I would start today and try it for two months - I think thats adequate time to see if it works for me. But we'll see.

Puppy Size

Cute story that was emailed to me 'Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this,' the mother told the volunteer. 'What is it she keeps asking for?' the volunteer asked. 'Puppy size!' replied the mother 'Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for..' 'I know.... We have seen most of them,' the mom said in frustration... Just then Danielle came walking into the office 'Well, did you find one?' asked her mom. 'No, not this time,' Danielle said with sadness in her voice. 'Can we come back on the weekend?' The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed 'You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply,' the volunteer said. Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. 'Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend,' she said. Over the next few days both Mom and Dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular. 'It's this weekend or we're not looking any more,' Dad finally said in frustration. 'We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size, either,' Mom added. Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning . By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs. Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted. Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look.. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one. One by one she said, 'Sorry, but you're not the one.' It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup. The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer. 'Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!' She screamed with joy. 'It's the puppy size!' 'But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks,' Mom said. 'No not size... The sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed,' she said. 'Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!' The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did a little of both. 'Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms,' she said. Then, holding the puppy up close to her face, she said, 'Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!' Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day… They are the sighs of God. Take the time to stop and listen; you will be surprised at what you hear. 'Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take Our breath away.' I hope your life is filled with Sighs!!! Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few. Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't. I Appreciate You!!

Feeling grotty

Have had a cold/flu for the last few days. I hate feeling like rubbish, headache, fever, sore throat, cough, runny nose. It has given me a lot more thinking time, while sitting around at home, since I can't go to work or anywhere else for that matter. I did have a crazy cleaning spree yesterday in my room, since I was completely bored at home. So at least my room is looking better for it. Today I had nose bleeds, and my drivers side wing mirror came off on top of everything else, I was feeling even worse. Plus I feel overheated even though I've been told my forehead feels cold. My brain is quite foggy on top of everything else. I really want to go do the Lake Waikaremoana Great walk this year, but I don't want to go by myself, and I haven't managed to find someone to go with me. My aunty said she might, but she hurt her ankle when we did the Tongariro Crossing earlier this year so that might not be a goer. Speaking of which, I'm so glad I already did that walk, given that its now closed due to volcanic activity earlier this month. My main goal at the moment is to improve my fitness - once I get over this cold that is.

Road trip

I've been on holiday this week, which has been a much needed break. Shift work is draining, some time out is really needful to recuperate. According to my workmates I don't have enough of a life to actually merit needing to rest but whatever, my life is my own. Why should I feel guilty because you have children and I don't? Getting to catch up with friends and travel round the north island has been massively draining, but awesome. So grateful to dad for fixing up some issues with my car so I could be on my way. I love road trips. I would love them better if I had some friends to keep me company, but most of my single friends are now dating, good on them. So i took the next best option and road tripped to visit friends that I hadn't caught up with in a while. Home tomorrow. I'm sad my holiday is nearly over, but glad while it lasted.