So weirdly, lately, my first love has been on my mind. Showing up in my dreams, & also lately, I've been seeing his initials everywhere (perhaps my subconscious picks up on them for some unknown reason?). Perplexing & perturbing. I don't really know what to make of it.
It was a long time ago, I was really young. I remember the euphoria that I would feel everytime I saw him, or heard from him, I would be happy for days afterwards. I drove my family insane talking about him. Then I unintentionally hurt him, and that was the end of that. It took me ages to get over him. Probably because I always thought he was perfect for me, but I never really thought that I was right for him. Possibly that was due to my own issues & insecurities, I thought he was too good for me.
I do believe that things happen for a reason, and that everything works out the best for everyone. He's moved on with his life & I've moved on with mine. But this recent spate of dreams & such has me wondering what on earth is going on.
My dad always says that life gives you lessons, and that if you miss the lesson, the lesson is repeated until you have learnt it. I haven't really had much to do with him in years & now my subconscious is bringing him up for some unknown reason. So I suspect that I missed whatever lesson I was meant to learn from him, whatever lesson that might be, I still need to learn it. But I don't know how thats going to happen.
So now I'm just trying to convince myself to trust in the process of life, that "when the student is ready the teacher will appear." Whatever lesson I'm meant to learn, I'm sure its on its way, in whatever way, shape or form.
