Tuesday, July 9, 2013

HP Wireless Printer (possessed)

Monday morning I was at work looking at the NZ Herald website, when I found a link to a Listener article talking about "Man vs Printer" a hilarious Trademe auction. It closes today in about 7 minutes, but I have spent the better half of the last two days going back to the auction to read the question and answer section of this auction by Nick Ward. He is apparently on the radio now and is being filmed by a film crew hopefully this will be shown tomorrow night on tv along with the destruction of the evil HP printer (as long as the highest bidder actually wants it destroyed - it will be so disappointing if they don't.)

I know I shouldn't be so addicted to trademe, but some of the questions and answers are hilarious, I have had such a good laugh about it, I even added a comment of my own, just to say thanks to him. He is really funny. Good on him I think the auctions up around $265, so hopefully he can take his poor neglected wife out for dinner somewhere nice.

Here is his description of the printer:

Words cannot express how much I hate this printer. It never works when I need it to - it's like it knows when I have to urgently print something. It randomly decides if it wants to work wirelessly or not. And scanning wirelessly? Forget about it!

When you first turn it on it will play an endless symphony of sounds that are simply there to fool you into thinking that it might actually do what it's designed to do. Don't be fooled. This thing is evil incarnate.

I've spent hours on the phone to HP trying to set it up. It has made my life a misery. That is why I am getting rid of it.

So why on earth would you want this unholy piece of garbage? Well there's a good chance it will work for you there's nothing technically wrong with it except it has a soul of pure darkness. Maybe you can tame it. Also it has BRAND NEW PRINTER CARTRIDGES IN IT. I put these in in the blind hope it might decide to work properly - it didn't. So at the very least you will get new(ish) cartridges. This is virtually as new but I want it out of my life for good!

So here's the deal you must come and collect it. If you twist my arm I might mail you the ink cartridges but only if the price is right.

Also if you, like me, think that Hewlett Packard makes the worst printers in the history of technology then I will SMASH this piece of sub-standard feculence into a million pieces on your behalf and send you a tiny bit of it for your collection. I will also post a video of the smashing to Youtube so you and all your friends can enjoy watching it get what's coming to it.

However, if you want to come and get it that's fine as well I guess - but be warned with this printer also comes it's terrible curse.

His blog: Woodofkings.blogspot.com
Trademe auction: http://www.trademe.co.nz/a.asp?id=611109951&cc=61&pid=273702982&hbc=24&ct=link

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the shout out Pianika. I'm gald you and so many other people enjoyed this. I'm now waiting for the TV people to turn up. I'm ready for my 15 minutes of fame.

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  2. Wireless technology is really good. Printing from mobile through wireless or bluetooth will be very good. Technology will make you work done from any place without any barriers. Om Maruti Services

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