Ups and Downs

Last week started off awesome. It was temple week, so I spent a lot of time in that wonderful building, feeling peaceful and serene and happy, thinking about a lot of different things, and feeling really good in general. I got to do some family work, which made it even better, and I started thinking about getting back into family history again which I haven't touched for a couple of years now. Talking to one of my friends mothers - she has done about 33,000 family names, one of her lines even extends back to Adam and Eve, and she is now hitting brick walls and has started running out of names to do. She is the first person I have ever known with such a problem. I certainly don't have that problem.

Then friday when I got out of the temple and went home, I decided to sit down and have a "Big Bang Theory" marathon. I had bought DVD's of Season 1-3 and had only watched part of the first season. My mood rapidly went downhill - which I couldn't figure out because the DVDs were hilarious and I really liked them. But by the evening I was feeling depressed and horrible, and ended up at the supermarket buying icecream, chocolate, potato chips and dip, none of which improved my mood any despite eating almost everything I'd just bought.

Saturday I woke up and decided to attempt to pull myself out of whatever funk I had somehow sunk into (still not being able to figure out why). I went to see some family, which helped, seeing my nephews helped as well, they always cheer me up. So much cuteness in two little people. I had work that afternoon, then a work do which was a Fawlty Towers dinner show evening. It was hilarious. The guy playing Manuel had his work cut out for him, a fine balance between acting his part and pissing people off, stealing their chairs, sitting on them and ending the night doing a strip tease (brave man). We told him our boss was retiring, so he spent the rest of the night yelling about our boss being retarded, and even gave him a baby dummy.

Yesterday I felt like I had gone from up to down to neutral. Like I wasn't entirely joyful, but I wasn't as low as I was on Friday. I had work in the afternoon, it was busy and therefore went by fast. And today, despite the fog, cancelled flights, dealing with disrupted passengers, delays and feeling somewhat stressed, I did have some lovely moments too, and I felt really peaceful and happy despite the chaos.

So what do I take from all this? Well after reading The Christmas Box collection by Richard Paul Evans, I think what I took from it is that I need to leave the past in the past. Stop looking backwards, wondering how things might have gone differently, stop pining over people I'm never going to end up with and just start making plans for my future and improve my attitude towards it. Stop expecting the worst and start expecting the best and moving towards it.

Australia & goals

I have been to Australia twice in the last 5 wks or so, firstly to Sydney to see my friend that lives there, who has just had a baby in January (hes a smiley little chap) and secondly to Perth to see my newly pregnant friend and her family. They were both great trips but for different reasons, it was great catching up with both of them, finding out what their lives have been like and what they've been up to.

I found being around them both superbly motivating in different ways. They are both very determined and hard working and being around them made me want to be more like them.

I even set some new goals (my only one lately has been to do all 9 great NZ walks, and then maybe after that work on getting fit enough to do the Inca trail in Peru) which was also good for me. I now feel like I have a plan. Next step is to create a vision board and stick it up on my wall where I can see it (my walls are rapidly being covered in images, posters and colours, I really like it).

Both of them attempted to encourage me to move to Australia - and I can see that I might actually like Perth, not so much Sydney as its too fast paced for me. Well, I still wouldn't want to move there, but the thought of living in Perth is now less disagreeable to me than the thought of living in Sydney.