Dolphins

I saw a repeat of a Simpsons show the other day, one where the dolphin king returns to the sea after being held captive by humans and decides to wreak revenge on Springfield. It did somewhat upset my long held regard for those creatures, being as they are, so intelligent, playful, friendly and curious. Not to mention amazing to watch. At some point next year I'm going to go for a road trip around New Zealand. I think i'll plan to go swimming with the dolphins, somewhere in the Bay of Plenty. Maybe in Whakatane, then I can go to White Island at the same time.

5 love languages

Gary Chapman, counsellor/therapist came up with 5 ways people express love/want to have it expressed to them, that he calls the 5 Love languages. It seems obvious once you hear about it but putting it into practise is a different story. As children, most of us learn one language which becomes our native tongue, the filter through which we express themselves to the world and expect to be understood by others. The only problem in miscommunication occurs when we meet someone who does not have the same base language, or even dialect for that matter (american vs british english for example). So it is with expressing love. The majority of people will show love in the way that is easiest for them and the way they want to receive it. It will come naturally to them, just as any native tongue. The problem comes when they meet someone who does not share their form of expressing love. That person will not understand what they are attempting to communicate. It is not lack of sincerity that is the problem, but a misguided "do unto others as you would have done to you" rather than a more understanding "do unto others as they would have done unto them". The 5 languages are *words of affirmation, *quality time, *gifts, *acts of service and *physical affection. It was a revelation to me when I first discovered it. I could never understand why my mother, when asked what she would like for her birthday, requested that we clean up for her. Once i understood that her love language is acts of service (she is constantly doing things for everyone around her) i stopped thinking she was crazy for harping on at me to do the dishes. It was also easier for me to understand why certain things upset me more than others and allowed me to let go of old negativities, for example: having appointments cancelled last minute and people saying rude things to me (mine are quality time and words of affirmation). It is effortless for me to offer words of encouragement or to plan activities where i can spend time with people close to me. The good news is that love languages, like russian and german can be learned. It takes effort, but then showing love often requires a person to put forth energy in the establishment and maintenance of healthy relationships, whether it be with a spouse, a friend, a child, a brother or a parent. If you really care about someone you would want them to feel it, through showing it in a way that most clearly speaks to them. I encourage everyone to find out the love languages of their nearest and dearest - either by paying attention to what they complain about "you never get me flowers, you never help me clean, you never say nice things to me" or by asking them what thing they would most like (out of the 5 options and see what they say) Make them feel loved and cherished this Christmas season by surprising them with an expression of love in their native language. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Enter the dragon

My favourite quote from one of Dads old Bruce Lee movies... How did that feel to you? Let me think! Don't think! FEEL! It is like a finger, pointing away to the moon. If you don't take your eye off the finger you will miss all that heavenly glory...

Childhood Memories

Riding on the car roof rack unbeknownst to my parents... getting yelled at for putting the family dinner in the rubbish bin (uncooked chicken wrapped in newspaper)... flooding the house because I forgot to watch the bath filling... School lunchtimes spent studying cloud formations & pondering the whys and hows of the universe... feelings of superiority and alienation from my peers playing cricket or catch & kiss... eating my lunch at school and having it taken off me by a much older boy... Our 2 storey maroon coloured house that my grandpa built, with a perfect climbing tree in front & our pretend jungle down the side... the only family home evening I remember, where my parents transformed our lounge & staircase into a huge (sheet) covered tent - I forget why, but it looked amazing... getting home and the excitement of finding fireworks on my bed... Climbing up big hills of stones at the back of the temple and sliding back down them... camping out at Kaueranga valley in Thames, swimming & hiking & laughing together, back before someone cut all the trees down... Day trips to Papamoa or Raglan, body surfing, building sand sculptures, sunbathing & eating fish n chips afterwards... Playing cowboys & indians at Nana's house with our houses, screaming & running around the backyard while Nana looked on indulgently... Petty arguments with siblings over who got the most of one thing or the least of another... not feeling safe in my own home... Mum kissing things better - whether it be bruises, cuts or hurts of any variety - I don't know how it worked, but it always did.

Light & Truth part 3

This part is less related to the previous 2 posts, more of an off shoot in my thinking with regards to the duality principle - taking something into your mind and heart at the same time. We read that the spirit confirms things in our mind and heart, meaning logically and emotionally, which is good because some people are more thinkers and others are more guided by their feelings. This next part is about taking it all in at once. One of my favourite things is trying to see patterns in the whole and comparing it with my other previous understandings and knowledge to see how it fits, like taking pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and turning them around and around until they make sense with everything else I know. Knowledge and comprehension in any field of endeavour comes not by knowing facts and truths, but by perceiving patterns set up by those facts, and wholly understanding them in both mind and heart. In the french language (and other roman languages) there are two ways of translating the english verb "to know". Savoir, is to know something mentally, like facts or information, theory. Connaitre means to know something on a much more personal and intimate level. (I feel like I may have mentioned this before but I can't quite remember when) Before going to France I had read about it, learned about it, seen pictures and videos, and met people from that country. It gave me a desire to actually "know" the country. It wasn't until I went and lived there, met the people, walked the streets, saw, heard, smelled and touched, that I could say, "Oui, je CONNAIS la France." (Yes, I know France). When we begin to see patterns and connections in life, in our readings, our personal insight increases and we begin to see those patterns in effect throughout the scriptures. Sometimes it comes one agonizing piece at a time (and is usually treasured more highly for it), other times it comes in a streaming flow of information hard to grasp hold of.

Light & truth part 2

What happens when light and truth are combined? The harsh God of the Old Testament following the letter of the law & inflicting harsh penalties on all who infringed the law of Moses seems a completely different type of Deity to the loving God of the New Testament who told us to forgive our enemies and bless those who curse us - but in reality, they are one and the same God. Sometimes the scriptures seem to contradict themselves, but usually it is because they are following one or the other of two laws, the temporal law, or the spiritual law. Truth of itself seems to be darkness, but brought into the light of Christ becomes something new and powerful in a constructive and redemptive way. "He comprehendeth all things, that he might be in and through all things, the light of truth." One cannot be without the other, just as we read "neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man in the Lord." Or in other words, neither is truth without the light, neither the light without the truth, in the Lord. If truth without light is dictatorship and cruelty, then light without truth is immorality and selfishness. Separately, they bring destruction and damnation, but together they bring joy, order and salvation to all those who would apply these principles in their lives. Part 3: Seeing patterns and grasping the whole

Light & Truth part 1

Back in the 1600s, a philosopher named Descartes came up with what is now known as "Duality", a differentiation of mind (thought) and body (or reality.) In the gospel, we learn that the glory of God is intelligence, or in other words, light and truth. So intelligence is a combination of two factors. What are light and truth? The light of Christ is a power that connects everything in the universe, proceeding forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space, being in all things and giving life to all things. But Light also contains the virtues and the elements of divinity, humility (a broken heart - openess to receiving God), faith (trust), hope (belief in salvation), and love - pure love, and anything that comes of this is righteousness and eternal life. Truth is on a parallel with light, but different. It is things as they are, were, and will be. By itself, it is a dark principle and damning, after all, justice without mercy would sentence us all to hell, the enforcing arm of truth that metes out punishment to criminals and sinners (meaning all of us.) The principles of truth and light are distinct yet complementary, and can be separated and compared as follows: TRUTH ................................... LIGHT Masculine ................................ Feminine Mind ........................................ Heart Authority ................................. Power Temporal Law ........................ Spiritual law Reason .................................... Inspiration Justice ...................................... Mercy Logic ........................................ Faith Contrite Spirit ......................... Broken heart Governing .............................. Nurturing Leadership .............................. Service Thought ................................... Emotion Part 2: What happens when truth and light are combined?

10 things I love about her

Todays post is dedicated to my beautiful sister, one of my favourite people in the world, in honour of her upcoming birthday. And my 10 top things are... (drumroll please)... 1) She is selfless - she puts her familys needs before her own & is always thinking of other people 2) She has a lot of faith, and always trusts that things will work out. And they usually do. 3) She can sit down and in one sitting create a work of art, or craft, or anything really, she doesn't need instructions she can just whip stuff up off the top of her head (or the tips of her fingers rather) 4) She is the best listener in the whole wide world. I guess that suggests that I'm the worst, I probably am, but she lets me talk and talk whenever I want, granted, I can't be sure she's listening, but half the time I don't need her to pay attention, I just want her to be there while I vent. 5) She is my favourite hair stylist and makeup artist ever (once again, always doing things for other people. Since I'm a recipient of her services, I can't complain) 6) When I'm upset she pulls faces at me to cheer me up and make me laugh. My favourite is the sucking-her-nose-in one. 7) She is straight up honest and not afraid to chastise when needed 8) She is a Photo-shop whiz, collages, image correction, different colours, layering, anything you need, she can do it. She also takes great photos and is awesome with photo shoots. 9) Even though she doesn't think she is, she's very spiritually inclined. Sometimes she will just blurt stuff out without thinking, and then it will be perfectly inspired and true and blows everyone away. 10) She is an awesome pianist, she can play anything at the drop of a hat, she recreates everything she plays into masterpieces, and her compositions are so beautiful they make me cry (sometimes) 10) She's always there for me when I need her. Yes I know thats more than 10. Love you big sis, MWA!

Forgiveness

So yesterday my car broke down, and i was initially really really annoyed. It seemed like the 3rd of the bad things that happen in 3's (my blender broke, then our water got shut off, then my car) and I was about to head off to work too. So i had to get a taxi out to work. I was complaining to my dad about it. He said to me "good thing the car broke down while you were at home bub, imagine if it happened while you were somewhere else. HF must know what he's doing." Then today a really nice mobile mechanic guy came and fixed my car for me. And he didn't even charge full price. I should be more grateful to HF and stop blaming him for all the bad things that have been happening. I read a quote this morning by a 1940's Wanganui Surgeon-turned-naturopath little known man named Ulric Williams, famed with healing a lot of people but shunned by the medical community (funny that) about Forgiveness. I'm not sure how it fits in with this post, but it seems like a good attitude to have. Better than being annoyed anyway. "Forgiveness means saying it doesn't matter. Forgiveness means saying to oneself, If i forgive this person, God can use my forgiveness to put things right. Forgiveness means saying to oneself, This person did the best they could with the knowledge and awareness and understanding they had at the time. I set them free from my condemnation." Words to live by. Thanks Ulric.

Hit & run vs Self defence

Seems to me like I never realize I've had a near death experience until after one just about happens. I don't know how i manage to go through life in such an oblivious way, I've often likened myself to an absent minded professor. My family tell me I just have a short attention span. This morning at 2:30am I was on my way to work, (a 4hr shift, it seemed like almost a waste of time) when a guy stepped out in front of my car just as I was about to go straight over the pedestrian crossing on a road not far from my house. Since it was dark and he was wearing a hoodie i didn't see him until I'd passed him, good thing he stopped or I would have mowed him down. After going past and getting a fright that I'd nearly hit someone I started thinking about the situation. He was (he? I don't even know) with someone else, both of them wearing hoodies. And they were standing in the middle of the road staring after my car for ages. Why wouldn't they just get off the road? Not to be rude, but if i did run down someone who looked like a gang member/ someone who could be trying to car jack me, could I be held responsible? Or could I claim self defense? After all, what kind of sane person would try to step in front of a car with its lights on in the middle of the night when there is no traffic anyway? Why would anyone want to stop a car at that time, except someone who was up to no good? And if I had hit him and then kept going, couldn't I just call 111 and tell them "Oh sorry, I hit someone. No i didn't stop. A single female in the middle of the night? I don't think so. I'll tell you where it was and you can send a cop to go check on him." My friend from South africa said over there, people will deliberately lie on the road so that cars slow down then they can kill the driver and steal whatever they have on them. It will be a sad day when that starts happening here.

Personal inspirations

Seems to me like whenever i need an answer to a problem it usually arrives in the form of music or literature. Occasionally a person, but not often. I received a revelation a couple of years ago that i needed to be more proactive. It took me about a year to finally track down a decent definition for the word "proactive" in a Steven Covey book - "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" that i found while on holiday in Gisborne. The funny thing was that when I got back home I saw the same book sitting on a bookshelf at our house where it had been sitting all year, completely unnoticed by me. I guess i had to go on a quest for it, so that I would treasure it, like Santiago in "The Alchemist." It went something like this: proactive people are those who focus their efforts on things which they can do something about--and reactive people, who blame, accuse, behave like victims, pick on other people's weaknesses and complain about external factors over which they have no control (e.g. the weather). Proactive people are responsible for their own lives. Covey breaks down the word responsibility into ability and to choose a response. Proactive people recognise their responsibility to make things happen. Those who allow their feelings to control their actions have abdicated responsibility and empowered their feelings. When proactive people make a mistake, they not only recognise and acknowledge their mistake, but also correct it if possible and, most importantly, learn from it. This one seemed quite difficult to me to follow, and yet its only the first of the 7 habits. You would think that the first step would be the easiest, but no. On good days I sometimes remember to try and be proactive, but on highly emotional days, theres absolutely no chance. I just get overwhelmed by things that are going on around me and find it hard to anchor myself down. Like a wave of the sea, driven with the wind and tossed. I'm glad theres always tomorrow.