Socialising

I've been quite anti social since I moved to auckland. The other friday was an attempt to curb that habit. I went to my old flatmates tupperware party. There must have been 20 women there, most of whom i hadn't met before. The girl who I replaced in the flat was the demonstrator for the party. She started getting slightly intimidated when the 20th person walked through the door.

It was very informative, and they demonstrated a few items I had seen before when my friend was a demonstrator, but i had never actually observed them being used. I was very impressed with them. Especially the cake decorating instrument that the hostess insisted would not work until she tried it and realized she was wrong.

But at the end of the night I realized something about myself. I'm actually perfectly happy to be around people and not mix with them. Maybe its part of being an introvert, but i find small talk really draining and i'd much rather not do it.

I did used to hate being in crowds, especially where they're centred around food. Since i got rid of some of my anxieties I don't have a problem with being in crowds anymore, but i'd just rather not mix with heaps of people i don't know. ie its bearable, but i don't like to make a habit of it. I much prefer being with one or two people at a time.

I tend to think of myself as a quiet person, but I was catching up with a friend in tauranga a couple of weeks ago, and she said that I'm only quiet in comparison to my other friends, who are extremely confident and chatty people. She said when i'm around people who are not so talkative, I can actually be quite bubbly and talkative. I said thats coz i'm not entirely comfortable with people who don't talk, so i end up doing all the talking myself.

My sister hardly ever talks, so when i'm with her I pretty much talk non stop. Its not that she has nothing to say, just that shes used to me talking her ear off. We've had our whole lives to get used to each other. If i want her to talk, questioning her doesn't work. I've only figured out in the last few years, that if I want her to talk, I have to remain quiet for at least an hour. Then she usually starts telling me whats going on with her. I think I need to learn to listen more.