Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Closest Thing to Magic

I decided to do something, something that will push me and challenge me. And yes I’m definitely going to do it this time. No more umming and ahhing and procrastinating and weighing up the pros and cons and second guessing myself.

Shortly after, by chance, in the work lunch room, I happen across a newspaper article about the exact thing that I had decided to do (write a family history).
Mum goes looking for something in her storage and finds a huge box with all of my grandmothers research that she carried out while she was alive – letters, photos, family group sheets, lineage charts and more.
A while after that during an attempt to clean my room, I find a little scrap of paper with the email address of a relative who can help me.
My mother just happens to find a phone number for her uncle who she hasn’t been in touch with for years and texts it to me.

Whenever I fix a goal to do something, things always start to happen that push me in what feels like a deliberate direction. When I decided to go on a mission (which at the time I was adamantly set against) everything just fell into place. Not without some hiccoughs of course. Putting together my application, the money, finishing the last paper in my degree, getting my french visa (that was a mission their embassy sucks) and all the million and one other things I had to do. I wonder if its something to do with the subconscious – would I have even noticed that newspaper article if that subject hadn’t been on my mind?

I find it really hard to make up my mind at the best of times. I weigh up all the different options logically then I usually ignore the data I’ve collected and go with whatever feels right. But there’s just something amazing about deciding to do something and watching it all fall into place, as if by magic.

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