The girl in the photo

One day while PK was looking through photos on an acquired hard drive, she happened across some old photos of herself as a youngster. She had very little actual recollections of her life at that particular point in time, and yet the photo saddened her. While certain child “experts” claimed that emotions babies experience can become imprinted on one’s psyche as “body/ subconscious memories” eg if a child is left in an incubator for 3months after birth it can be traumatic for them, later jeopardizing their chances for happiness in adult life (loss & abandonment issues, fear, insecurity, sadness etc), theres nobody who can be blamed for such things. All those talk shows where people blame their parents for their childhood issues are just stupid. It doesn’t serve anybody, throwing the blame around for things like that. People just need to take responsibility for their own lives. Nevertheless she decided to interrogate her mother regarding the circumstances surrounding her birth. Was she ever left alone at any time? How did her mother feel about her? How did her father feel about her? (Also according to “experts”, babies are very sensitive to the thoughts & feelings of their parents prior to and after birth, picking up on whether they are wanted or not) She learned a lot of things she would have preferred to not know, but that’s what happens when curiousity gets the better of a person. PK guessed she was about 18months old in the photo. Her older sister had just elbow gouged her in an attempt to get to their new baby brother. Maybe she was sad because she wanted to be picked up & comforted, but everyone was either busy with the camera or the new baby. Being stuck in the middle of the family sucks. Having an odd number of siblings also sucks. One person always gets left out. 3’s company. 5th wheel etc. “Its ok,” she decided in her head, “I don’t need people around to be myself. In fact, sometimes being alone is the easiest way to be yourself, you don’t have to be responsible for anyone but you, and as an additional plus there’s nobody to judge or second guess your decisions.”