Choices

To be or not to be, that is the question...

I went to a musical fireside last night about choices. It had a nice little situational drama about 2 ysa, Jane and John and the choices and decisions that they made throughout the week and whether it was leading them towards or away from their goals.

On an airplane, a small deviation in ones initial trajectory can have big implications later on. Not only that, but the pilot continually has to make minor adjustments in accordance with wind velocity and other factors.

Sometimes the standards I set for myself seem unattainable and I feel bad about trying so I write stuff off as being unimportant or uneccessary because its too painful to try and try and never get to where I want to be, or even worse, to never feel like I'm going to succeed.

Sometimes I get minute glimpses of the person I'd like to be, like a shaft of light piercing a dark cavern where everything is closing in around me. I feel the darkness like a smothering blanket over my head, whenever I'm not happy with myself, but the light comes back when I pray or when I allow myself to hope for better things to come. Its always preferable to focus on the things that are going well in ones life, but sometimes failure completely overrides all the good things that may be going on. Its difficult to be happy on such days.

I wonder if we knew before we came here to earth just how tough things were going to be.