Dolphins

I saw a repeat of a Simpsons show the other day, one where the dolphin king returns to the sea after being held captive by humans and decides to wreak revenge on Springfield. It did somewhat upset my long held regard for those creatures, being as they are, so intelligent, playful, friendly and curious. Not to mention amazing to watch. At some point next year I'm going to go for a road trip around New Zealand. I think i'll plan to go swimming with the dolphins, somewhere in the Bay of Plenty. Maybe in Whakatane, then I can go to White Island at the same time.

5 love languages

Gary Chapman, counsellor/therapist came up with 5 ways people express love/want to have it expressed to them, that he calls the 5 Love languages. It seems obvious once you hear about it but putting it into practise is a different story. As children, most of us learn one language which becomes our native tongue, the filter through which we express themselves to the world and expect to be understood by others. The only problem in miscommunication occurs when we meet someone who does not have the same base language, or even dialect for that matter (american vs british english for example). So it is with expressing love. The majority of people will show love in the way that is easiest for them and the way they want to receive it. It will come naturally to them, just as any native tongue. The problem comes when they meet someone who does not share their form of expressing love. That person will not understand what they are attempting to communicate. It is not lack of sincerity that is the problem, but a misguided "do unto others as you would have done to you" rather than a more understanding "do unto others as they would have done unto them". The 5 languages are *words of affirmation, *quality time, *gifts, *acts of service and *physical affection. It was a revelation to me when I first discovered it. I could never understand why my mother, when asked what she would like for her birthday, requested that we clean up for her. Once i understood that her love language is acts of service (she is constantly doing things for everyone around her) i stopped thinking she was crazy for harping on at me to do the dishes. It was also easier for me to understand why certain things upset me more than others and allowed me to let go of old negativities, for example: having appointments cancelled last minute and people saying rude things to me (mine are quality time and words of affirmation). It is effortless for me to offer words of encouragement or to plan activities where i can spend time with people close to me. The good news is that love languages, like russian and german can be learned. It takes effort, but then showing love often requires a person to put forth energy in the establishment and maintenance of healthy relationships, whether it be with a spouse, a friend, a child, a brother or a parent. If you really care about someone you would want them to feel it, through showing it in a way that most clearly speaks to them. I encourage everyone to find out the love languages of their nearest and dearest - either by paying attention to what they complain about "you never get me flowers, you never help me clean, you never say nice things to me" or by asking them what thing they would most like (out of the 5 options and see what they say) Make them feel loved and cherished this Christmas season by surprising them with an expression of love in their native language. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Enter the dragon

My favourite quote from one of Dads old Bruce Lee movies... How did that feel to you? Let me think! Don't think! FEEL! It is like a finger, pointing away to the moon. If you don't take your eye off the finger you will miss all that heavenly glory...

Childhood Memories

Riding on the car roof rack unbeknownst to my parents... getting yelled at for putting the family dinner in the rubbish bin (uncooked chicken wrapped in newspaper)... flooding the house because I forgot to watch the bath filling... School lunchtimes spent studying cloud formations & pondering the whys and hows of the universe... feelings of superiority and alienation from my peers playing cricket or catch & kiss... eating my lunch at school and having it taken off me by a much older boy... Our 2 storey maroon coloured house that my grandpa built, with a perfect climbing tree in front & our pretend jungle down the side... the only family home evening I remember, where my parents transformed our lounge & staircase into a huge (sheet) covered tent - I forget why, but it looked amazing... getting home and the excitement of finding fireworks on my bed... Climbing up big hills of stones at the back of the temple and sliding back down them... camping out at Kaueranga valley in Thames, swimming & hiking & laughing together, back before someone cut all the trees down... Day trips to Papamoa or Raglan, body surfing, building sand sculptures, sunbathing & eating fish n chips afterwards... Playing cowboys & indians at Nana's house with our houses, screaming & running around the backyard while Nana looked on indulgently... Petty arguments with siblings over who got the most of one thing or the least of another... not feeling safe in my own home... Mum kissing things better - whether it be bruises, cuts or hurts of any variety - I don't know how it worked, but it always did.

Light & Truth part 3

This part is less related to the previous 2 posts, more of an off shoot in my thinking with regards to the duality principle - taking something into your mind and heart at the same time. We read that the spirit confirms things in our mind and heart, meaning logically and emotionally, which is good because some people are more thinkers and others are more guided by their feelings. This next part is about taking it all in at once. One of my favourite things is trying to see patterns in the whole and comparing it with my other previous understandings and knowledge to see how it fits, like taking pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and turning them around and around until they make sense with everything else I know. Knowledge and comprehension in any field of endeavour comes not by knowing facts and truths, but by perceiving patterns set up by those facts, and wholly understanding them in both mind and heart. In the french language (and other roman languages) there are two ways of translating the english verb "to know". Savoir, is to know something mentally, like facts or information, theory. Connaitre means to know something on a much more personal and intimate level. (I feel like I may have mentioned this before but I can't quite remember when) Before going to France I had read about it, learned about it, seen pictures and videos, and met people from that country. It gave me a desire to actually "know" the country. It wasn't until I went and lived there, met the people, walked the streets, saw, heard, smelled and touched, that I could say, "Oui, je CONNAIS la France." (Yes, I know France). When we begin to see patterns and connections in life, in our readings, our personal insight increases and we begin to see those patterns in effect throughout the scriptures. Sometimes it comes one agonizing piece at a time (and is usually treasured more highly for it), other times it comes in a streaming flow of information hard to grasp hold of.

Light & truth part 2

What happens when light and truth are combined? The harsh God of the Old Testament following the letter of the law & inflicting harsh penalties on all who infringed the law of Moses seems a completely different type of Deity to the loving God of the New Testament who told us to forgive our enemies and bless those who curse us - but in reality, they are one and the same God. Sometimes the scriptures seem to contradict themselves, but usually it is because they are following one or the other of two laws, the temporal law, or the spiritual law. Truth of itself seems to be darkness, but brought into the light of Christ becomes something new and powerful in a constructive and redemptive way. "He comprehendeth all things, that he might be in and through all things, the light of truth." One cannot be without the other, just as we read "neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man in the Lord." Or in other words, neither is truth without the light, neither the light without the truth, in the Lord. If truth without light is dictatorship and cruelty, then light without truth is immorality and selfishness. Separately, they bring destruction and damnation, but together they bring joy, order and salvation to all those who would apply these principles in their lives. Part 3: Seeing patterns and grasping the whole

Light & Truth part 1

Back in the 1600s, a philosopher named Descartes came up with what is now known as "Duality", a differentiation of mind (thought) and body (or reality.) In the gospel, we learn that the glory of God is intelligence, or in other words, light and truth. So intelligence is a combination of two factors. What are light and truth? The light of Christ is a power that connects everything in the universe, proceeding forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space, being in all things and giving life to all things. But Light also contains the virtues and the elements of divinity, humility (a broken heart - openess to receiving God), faith (trust), hope (belief in salvation), and love - pure love, and anything that comes of this is righteousness and eternal life. Truth is on a parallel with light, but different. It is things as they are, were, and will be. By itself, it is a dark principle and damning, after all, justice without mercy would sentence us all to hell, the enforcing arm of truth that metes out punishment to criminals and sinners (meaning all of us.) The principles of truth and light are distinct yet complementary, and can be separated and compared as follows: TRUTH ................................... LIGHT Masculine ................................ Feminine Mind ........................................ Heart Authority ................................. Power Temporal Law ........................ Spiritual law Reason .................................... Inspiration Justice ...................................... Mercy Logic ........................................ Faith Contrite Spirit ......................... Broken heart Governing .............................. Nurturing Leadership .............................. Service Thought ................................... Emotion Part 2: What happens when truth and light are combined?

10 things I love about her

Todays post is dedicated to my beautiful sister, one of my favourite people in the world, in honour of her upcoming birthday. And my 10 top things are... (drumroll please)... 1) She is selfless - she puts her familys needs before her own & is always thinking of other people 2) She has a lot of faith, and always trusts that things will work out. And they usually do. 3) She can sit down and in one sitting create a work of art, or craft, or anything really, she doesn't need instructions she can just whip stuff up off the top of her head (or the tips of her fingers rather) 4) She is the best listener in the whole wide world. I guess that suggests that I'm the worst, I probably am, but she lets me talk and talk whenever I want, granted, I can't be sure she's listening, but half the time I don't need her to pay attention, I just want her to be there while I vent. 5) She is my favourite hair stylist and makeup artist ever (once again, always doing things for other people. Since I'm a recipient of her services, I can't complain) 6) When I'm upset she pulls faces at me to cheer me up and make me laugh. My favourite is the sucking-her-nose-in one. 7) She is straight up honest and not afraid to chastise when needed 8) She is a Photo-shop whiz, collages, image correction, different colours, layering, anything you need, she can do it. She also takes great photos and is awesome with photo shoots. 9) Even though she doesn't think she is, she's very spiritually inclined. Sometimes she will just blurt stuff out without thinking, and then it will be perfectly inspired and true and blows everyone away. 10) She is an awesome pianist, she can play anything at the drop of a hat, she recreates everything she plays into masterpieces, and her compositions are so beautiful they make me cry (sometimes) 10) She's always there for me when I need her. Yes I know thats more than 10. Love you big sis, MWA!

Forgiveness

So yesterday my car broke down, and i was initially really really annoyed. It seemed like the 3rd of the bad things that happen in 3's (my blender broke, then our water got shut off, then my car) and I was about to head off to work too. So i had to get a taxi out to work. I was complaining to my dad about it. He said to me "good thing the car broke down while you were at home bub, imagine if it happened while you were somewhere else. HF must know what he's doing." Then today a really nice mobile mechanic guy came and fixed my car for me. And he didn't even charge full price. I should be more grateful to HF and stop blaming him for all the bad things that have been happening. I read a quote this morning by a 1940's Wanganui Surgeon-turned-naturopath little known man named Ulric Williams, famed with healing a lot of people but shunned by the medical community (funny that) about Forgiveness. I'm not sure how it fits in with this post, but it seems like a good attitude to have. Better than being annoyed anyway. "Forgiveness means saying it doesn't matter. Forgiveness means saying to oneself, If i forgive this person, God can use my forgiveness to put things right. Forgiveness means saying to oneself, This person did the best they could with the knowledge and awareness and understanding they had at the time. I set them free from my condemnation." Words to live by. Thanks Ulric.

Hit & run vs Self defence

Seems to me like I never realize I've had a near death experience until after one just about happens. I don't know how i manage to go through life in such an oblivious way, I've often likened myself to an absent minded professor. My family tell me I just have a short attention span. This morning at 2:30am I was on my way to work, (a 4hr shift, it seemed like almost a waste of time) when a guy stepped out in front of my car just as I was about to go straight over the pedestrian crossing on a road not far from my house. Since it was dark and he was wearing a hoodie i didn't see him until I'd passed him, good thing he stopped or I would have mowed him down. After going past and getting a fright that I'd nearly hit someone I started thinking about the situation. He was (he? I don't even know) with someone else, both of them wearing hoodies. And they were standing in the middle of the road staring after my car for ages. Why wouldn't they just get off the road? Not to be rude, but if i did run down someone who looked like a gang member/ someone who could be trying to car jack me, could I be held responsible? Or could I claim self defense? After all, what kind of sane person would try to step in front of a car with its lights on in the middle of the night when there is no traffic anyway? Why would anyone want to stop a car at that time, except someone who was up to no good? And if I had hit him and then kept going, couldn't I just call 111 and tell them "Oh sorry, I hit someone. No i didn't stop. A single female in the middle of the night? I don't think so. I'll tell you where it was and you can send a cop to go check on him." My friend from South africa said over there, people will deliberately lie on the road so that cars slow down then they can kill the driver and steal whatever they have on them. It will be a sad day when that starts happening here.

Personal inspirations

Seems to me like whenever i need an answer to a problem it usually arrives in the form of music or literature. Occasionally a person, but not often. I received a revelation a couple of years ago that i needed to be more proactive. It took me about a year to finally track down a decent definition for the word "proactive" in a Steven Covey book - "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" that i found while on holiday in Gisborne. The funny thing was that when I got back home I saw the same book sitting on a bookshelf at our house where it had been sitting all year, completely unnoticed by me. I guess i had to go on a quest for it, so that I would treasure it, like Santiago in "The Alchemist." It went something like this: proactive people are those who focus their efforts on things which they can do something about--and reactive people, who blame, accuse, behave like victims, pick on other people's weaknesses and complain about external factors over which they have no control (e.g. the weather). Proactive people are responsible for their own lives. Covey breaks down the word responsibility into ability and to choose a response. Proactive people recognise their responsibility to make things happen. Those who allow their feelings to control their actions have abdicated responsibility and empowered their feelings. When proactive people make a mistake, they not only recognise and acknowledge their mistake, but also correct it if possible and, most importantly, learn from it. This one seemed quite difficult to me to follow, and yet its only the first of the 7 habits. You would think that the first step would be the easiest, but no. On good days I sometimes remember to try and be proactive, but on highly emotional days, theres absolutely no chance. I just get overwhelmed by things that are going on around me and find it hard to anchor myself down. Like a wave of the sea, driven with the wind and tossed. I'm glad theres always tomorrow.

Feelings

My uncle, who passed away this year, gave me a sage piece of advice once, regarding journal writing, which I assume can also be applied to blog writing. If you want your diaries to be truly memorable for the future, write about your feelings. Talk about how you felt today and the events will simply be the garnish. If you do that you will find that the Spirit will begin to communicate itself through the power of the written word. Although its hard to capture certain feelings in words, and more particularly to convey the strength or lack thereof of certain emotions, I will therefore attempt only to label the emotions I felt and not go into any depth on them. English is the best technical language on the planet, having the greatest vocabulary of any language on earth, but its not the best at conveying emotions. Roman languages such as spanish and french, have devoted a whole new tense to describing feelings. Its called the subjunctive and barely features in english, but I don't need to go into that now. 1) Working at an election day polling booth Stressed, Exuberant, Engrossed, Busy, Pleased, Miffed, Overfed, Disappointed 2) My best friends baby shower Redundant, alone, happy for her, bystander 3) My flatmate announcing she was moving out (the day I moved in) Shocked, alarmed, anxious, burdened (looking for someone else) 4) Getting an out of the blue email from an old flame the day after I had a dream about him Flabbergasted, wary, surprised, weirded-out, Curious, "What the hell!?" depressed, teary-eyed, sad, nostalgic, grateful that I've moved on 5) Writing during Nanowrimo Frustrated, agonized, mentally challenged, deranged, hopeful, enthusiastic, pleased, challenged, connected to my inner self - serene, peaceful, "In the flow" 6) Finishing training, starting my new job, customer services Tired, pressured, insulted, offended, ignorant, delighted, unsure, harangued, joyful, playful, adventurous 7) My flatmate offering/trying to set me up on blind dates Consternation, Resignation, rejected, grateful, naive, sad 8) Winning Nano! Elated, grateful, exulted, overjoyed... for about 5 minutes until I checked my emails (See #4) 9) My Work Christmas Party Alone, overfed 10) Being abused by a crazy Auckland driver Annoyed, vengeful, fearful, resentful of his idiocy, "Freakin idiot!" (Vengeance filled daydreams soothe my feelings hehe)

Deja vu theory

I saw an unusual house out of the corner of my eye, walking with my flatmate this morning, she said something to me and it was like I flipped backwards into time, like I'd already lived this moment before. When, I wasn't sure. But there was definately an otherworldly feeling to it. So visual cue + audio clue = deja vu, (from the french "already seen.") For me thats how it usually works anyway. Two or three events will combine in my consciousness to create that feeling that something is going on. I've had a few deja vu moments lately. My theory is that it means I dreamed it before, I dreamed about seeing or hearing something and then when it happens later my subconscious remembers it. One of my friends has a different theory. She thinks that before we came to this life we saw a preview of our life here on earth, and that we remembered certain things that would happen prior to significant moments - so the deja vu triggers an awareness that something important is about to happen. Another friend said she just feels like when she gets deja vu that its a personal sign to her that her life is going in the direction that its meant to. In any case, deja vu can't be predicted. It just sort of jumps on you without any advance warning. But its usually more memorable than other random moments of my day.

Finding joy in my creation

On Saturday i worked at the elections from 7:45am til 9:30pm thus killing any chances of catching up on my nanowrimo wordcount over the weekend. And having already worked out that i needed to have 15000 words by the 9th of november to stay on track, I was a bit stressed. I sat down last night to try and catch up and my mind went blank. The stress of what i was attempting to achieve hit me, along with frustration at the lack of forthcoming inspiration, and i resorted to menial tasks such as playing solitaire on my laptop, wandering around the house looking for things to do and eating even though i wasn't actually hungry. Then i wrote a brief discourse at the end of my novel on how much i hated my story and how horrible and boring it was, how i never want anybody else but me to read it and what on earth was i thinking and so on and so forth. Finally i went hunting for one of my old journals, from when i was overseas. Flicking open to a random page was a brief comment, Today we were talking to (i forget) and he told us a story. They were driving along the road when (?) yelled at him to stop the car. He jumped out and ran around a corner hand over mouth and threw up on the ground. Unfortunately, he didn't know it at the time but he was actually standing outside a huge restaurant with glass windows... and there was a family just inside staring back at him. As i read i laughed, as i laughed i relaxed and as i relaxed memories formed into ideas and ideas became words and before i knew it i was happy and the wordcount grew, which of course made me happier... and in the flow. I still haven't caught up yet, but when i woke up this morning i had a sense of hope. Creating demands a lot of a person, passion and enthusiasm and mostly love for what one is doing. To quote Orson Scott Card my favourite scifi/historical fiction writer, "A creator is one who is a part of what he creates." Just like the supreme Creator, who called us all into existence as well as this world, all creation denotes that He is there and that he wants us to be happy.

My nanowrimo

Username: Pianika Novel: Untitled POV: 1st person Wordcount: 7322 At this point in time, my novel is a random assortment of thoughts (in diary form) from a young adult female on her first major trip overseas. Sort of like Bridget Jones only she's kiwi not english, and she is a bit younger. it may evolve or change form at any point in time. I'm glad its only day 3.

The girl in the photo

One day while PK was looking through photos on an acquired hard drive, she happened across some old photos of herself as a youngster. She had very little actual recollections of her life at that particular point in time, and yet the photo saddened her. While certain child “experts” claimed that emotions babies experience can become imprinted on one’s psyche as “body/ subconscious memories” eg if a child is left in an incubator for 3months after birth it can be traumatic for them, later jeopardizing their chances for happiness in adult life (loss & abandonment issues, fear, insecurity, sadness etc), theres nobody who can be blamed for such things. All those talk shows where people blame their parents for their childhood issues are just stupid. It doesn’t serve anybody, throwing the blame around for things like that. People just need to take responsibility for their own lives. Nevertheless she decided to interrogate her mother regarding the circumstances surrounding her birth. Was she ever left alone at any time? How did her mother feel about her? How did her father feel about her? (Also according to “experts”, babies are very sensitive to the thoughts & feelings of their parents prior to and after birth, picking up on whether they are wanted or not) She learned a lot of things she would have preferred to not know, but that’s what happens when curiousity gets the better of a person. PK guessed she was about 18months old in the photo. Her older sister had just elbow gouged her in an attempt to get to their new baby brother. Maybe she was sad because she wanted to be picked up & comforted, but everyone was either busy with the camera or the new baby. Being stuck in the middle of the family sucks. Having an odd number of siblings also sucks. One person always gets left out. 3’s company. 5th wheel etc. “Its ok,” she decided in her head, “I don’t need people around to be myself. In fact, sometimes being alone is the easiest way to be yourself, you don’t have to be responsible for anyone but you, and as an additional plus there’s nobody to judge or second guess your decisions.”

Attempt at poetry

To see many images via a tv screen Or hear a voice in a distant place While watching news coverage as it happens I forget whose hand made each race To know those stars make up a universe A forest starts with one tiny seed Yet in small secret whispers from heaven Infinity cries “Believe” Yes now I see the touch of the masters hand In each valley, plain & sea Yet in all of creation our father above Only needed one of me

Memories of overseas

Heavenly wafting smells of 20 different bakeries upon exiting the apartment... playing in the snow & my first eer time seeing snowflakes (they look huge in cartoons & yet in real life are miniscule)... getting yelled at by an old lady in a stairwell because she thought we were stealing peoples identities... laughing at mistakes we made in the native language... getting goosebumps when an impromptu male choir sung things song, "can you hear the songs (sounds?) of the children"... sad farewells & joyous reunions at the train station... people who claimed to hate america yet wore american clothes & watched american movies & listened to american music... a bus driver who saved us late one night from a gang of muslim men... my first ever tan!!! (normally I burn then peel)... scary big buildings with bullet holes in the doors & burnt out cars on the side... a woman telling us she only wanted us to visit to give her money because her husband spent all their income drinking with his friends... a beautiful grey castle by a lake... a huge cadbury chocolate factory with a free samples room at the end of the tour (help yourself, yum!)... a huge water jet that shot up 100m into the air... a 7hr walking trip down the side of a mountain because we went to the top but misread the sign saying the bus only ran 1x/day on school holidays... crying because i was so frustrated with myself & everything that was going on... victorias secret purple love spell perfume that my friend used to wear all the time... getting asked if NZ was in america or africa... one person i met on a bus who knew the words "Kia Ora" that made me feel soo good... a knee high chess set in the park by where we lived... underground metros & how scared i was the first time I had to ride on one... miracle bread... angel days... guardians... cheese... a heat wave... freezing chills like I've never experienced in my life... people, good, bad, marvellous, cold, polite, passionate, funny, lovable, beloved. I miss them.

Thoughts on the institution of marriage

While i was packing today, I came across a piece of writing I did in religious studies class when I was 17 about marriage. At that point in time I was very cynical about marriage, & supposed happy ever afters. I ended my essay by talking about a physics class on 'wave theory' where 2 waves will either cancel each other out (peak+trough), or be really low (troughx2) or double in size (peakx2). So my idea was that, surely, there must be people who would complement each other to such an extent that they really would create synergy when they were together (like the peakx2). And yet all the couples around me seemed alot more like the peak+trough. Whether one was dominant and one submissive or they just manipulated each other & tried to control one another, it has been quite discouraging watching a number of friends and family members get married then get separated then get divorced instead of staying together like couples ideally should do. I mean, what is it that happens between falling in love and getting a divorce? Is it selfishness? or ego? or the adversary? or jealousy? or any number of other negative emotions? I have never been married, so I'm only seeing this from an outsiders perspective and perhaps my perception is flawed. Its hard to write about things I know nothing about. Maybe i should stop now. I just want to find an example of a really good marriage where they actually are happy together. One that comes to mind is the late President Hinckley and his wife. They were so lovely together even after all that time. The other is 2 members of my family. They were teenage sweethearts. She passed away earlier this year of cancer & he followed a few weeks later from a stroke. Its been sad for their kids, but i guess he really couldn't bear being separated from her.

28 days raw

"...and all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones; and shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures; and shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint." Apparently eating raw for 28 days allows your body to cure even the most heinous of diseases. Since i wasn't that sick to begin with, I can't judge on that account. And in any case, i would never recommend going raw to anyone. Its taken me 4yrs to get desperate enough (health-wise) to even want to try this craziest of diets, and its one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had to go into it baby steps at a time. First cutting out meat on weekdays, then attempting to cut out chocolate (that has never worked for me, I love chocolate too much) then the worst one I ever tried, I call it the extreme diet - junk food one day, guilt induced fruit & veg only the next. I have yet to see the boundless energy & zest for living that raw foodists on the internet promise, but I think thats because my liver still needs work - those solvents 3-4yrs ago were not good for me, they made me sleepy, excessively tired & gave me swollen ankles - but they did kickstart my health research quest. Where is the wellspring of youth springing up into eternal life promised by so many raw foodists? Why has it not yet worked for me!? Since I like to experiment (I think its the scientist in me), I will try one more month raw & see what happens.

I believe

When I was young i believed my aunty when she told me eating seeds would cause fruit trees to sprout out of my ears, i believed a lot of things people told me that weren't true, causing me much stress as a young child and giving me the unwarranted labels "naive" and "gullible." ( I prefer the word "trusting"). But as you grow older your beliefs evolve and change in accordance with you as a person, the things you learn and the experiences that you have. And although the following list is not complete, it at least contains a few of the things that are coming to mind as i write about this subject. I believe:- ...that all things happen for a reason, even when the reasons may not be apparent in this life. ... that everyone has a specific mission to accomplish on this earth whether it be big or small ... that children need their mothers love when they're young & their fathers wisdom when they're old ... happiness comes from appreciating the small things in life & looking for whats good in people ... that everyone has a story worth telling ... that my mum is always right, even/especially when i don't want to listen to her ... that the world is a beautiful place ... that cancer, diabetes & numerous other diseases are curable ... that children are better off home schooled (maybe a 'grass is greener on the other side' thing) ... that half the things i learnt at uni were redundant & did little more for me than get me a job once i finished - and i'm not even in that profession anymore ... that my family love me even though they don't always show it in ways i understand ... that no matter what happens in life, God will never abandon me. I can always go to him & trust in his care and concern for me, he will never let me down, ever.

Moving again

So the time has come for me to leave my family & my beautiful home town and head up to the big smoke. Although I don't like auckland, it intimidates me and I get lost easily there, I have felt for a few months I needed to move there but i didn't want to. Sometimes I feel quite bullied by the Lord. He got me a job & now I have to move. Darn it. I would have been ok with commuting except for the skyrocketing price of petrol. Its a more expensive place to live though, I'm not sure cost of commuting wouldn't have been offset by the extra cost to rent in auckland. I have been procrastinating packing for 2wks now. Maybe i should stop being addicted to the net & go start now...

The yummiest divine chocolate mmm

I just made some raw chocolate. Its the most delicious thing in the whole world, even though most of the ingredients have to be found in obscure places like purewellbeing.com or organic health food stores. But its SO worth it. 1c coconut oil 1c raw cacao powder (like cocoa powder but not processed) 50g cacao butter 1/4c agave syrup or manuka honey 1/4c coconut cream 1/4c tahini 1/4c cashew nut butter 1 pinch himalayan salt Place a metal bowl in a larger bowl of hot water. Melt the coconut oil & butter first, then add the other ingredients & stir well. Pour into molds or ice trays, optionally pour over almonds, cashews, goji berries or raisins and set overnight in the freezer. YUM!

Coincidences & connections

I have been noticing alot more things lately, ever since i watched the Celestine Prophecy (based on a book by James Redfield). The way you'll be thinking of someone and they'll call you, or you'll run into them. I was writing in my journal about my brother and sister who I rarely ever see, then within 24hrs I had randomly run into both of them. Coincidence? I think not. I think such meetings are planned in advance by God. The key is whether or not you choose to listen to the little whispery promptings that you get from time to time. I saw my sister just because she "happened" to be walking to her mailbox just as I chose a different route home, my brother because we both "happened" to go to the same petrol station at the same time. Then to top it off, I was at the fruit & veg store where the very chatty sales assistant was talking and talking to me, I wasn't in a hurry so I didn't mind, but there were other customers waiting. And why did I get held up that day? I wasn't sure until my dad walked through the door. If she hadn't been talking so long I never would have seen him, we would have completely bypassed each other. Sometimes you have really strong connections to people and you can sense when they're going to call you, or you'll both be thinking about the same thing at the same time. People are gifts who come into your life, often to teach you something, sometimes to be taught.

Fiction vs Non fiction

There is a duality in nature – light vs dark, male female, mind heart, logic emotion, rationality vs creativity. My view is that non-fiction generally is tailored to the mind, whereas fiction is generally tailored to the heart. Some people are more “thinkers” and some are more “emotionally-oriented” (I would use the word “feelers” but some people have bad connotations of that word). In order to enjoy fiction, I think one needs to connect with ones emotional side and temporarily disconnect ones brain. While reading fiction the best part for me is creating mental images of how things ought to be - envisioning things how you want them to be regardless of what the author originally intended, its like magic. For myself, I love fiction & use it as an escape. I like fantasy-sci fi or books that evoke memories, emotions & ideas. When I was young the make believe worlds I read about had a much stronger pull on me than the harsh realities of life. They say when you read something as a child it becomes a part of you as an adult (You've got mail, Meg Ryan's character) I have only recently begun to enjoy non fiction. I avoided it ever since I was about 10, it just held little or no appeal for me. I usually only subscribe to books that are recommended to me by trusted friends and usually only along certain lines. For example at the moment, health, wellbeing, some history & I have recently become more interested in psychology and human development books, since I started meeting with a counsellor, its been quite enlightening.

World View

Every person is unique, with their own set of traits, talents and abilities. Due to our unique background, family history, culture and education, we each have our own individual perspective on the world. And most of us perceive our own belief system as more valid than another persons. But it really isn't. When I hear something or read something that resonates with my own personal perspectives, then it will seem true to me and I will accept it. However when someone tells me something that jars against what I hold true, naturally I will reject it. For myself, this is especially true in the case of health and wellbeing choices. And regardless of certain people who disagree with what I want to do (and in my opinion its none of their damn business what I do with my health), I will continue making choices that fit in with my opinions and my world view. According to "The Secret" we attract what we hold in our minds and hearts, whether positive or negative. So if somebody believes something similar to what I believe, chances are that fate, or destiny will intertwine our paths at some point. People all want to be validated in their choices and actions in life, hence why "birds of a feather flock together." My friends are not necessarily those with similar interests, but those with a similar way of looking at the world. In the case of me and my friends, we're big mockers. We like to laugh at anything and anyone. We chastise each other constantly, but we still do it. This is my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

New job

I got a new job, start in 2 wks. Time to upheave my life, move to a different city, like moving 3x already this year hasn't been enough... Looking forward to it though. Except I hate packing. Hate trying to get rid of stuff. I have too much stuff but i never want to get rid of any of it. Sad I know. Haven't told work I'm going. Oops.

New job

I got a new job, start in 2 wks. Time to upheave my life, move to a different city, like moving 3x already this year hasn't been enough... Looking forward to it though. Except I hate packing. Hate trying to get rid of stuff. I have too much stuff but i never want to get rid of any of it. Sad I know. Haven't told work I'm going. Oops.

10 days raw

Today is my 10th day on only raw food, except for cooked potato which i added after 5 days, ie only fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds & natural oils. The hardest thing is boredom and lack of variety, also having extra time on my hands. Raw food doesn't take long to prepare at all, 10minutes for a smoothie, the same amount of time for a salad. My favourite things are desserts and raw chocolate which I made myself. Unbelievably decadent and yet good for you! If i had a dehydrator I would be able to make much more of a range of foods, still working on that one. After the first few "detoxing" days (headaches, cold chills, extra tiredness) I started feeling really good and needing less sleep. I've started taking supergreens powder, also i'm doing a parasite cleanse, which can't hurt, which will be followed by a kidney cleanse and then a liver flush. Fun fun :) looking forward to getting all the noxious chemicals out of my body, thats what happens when you work in a paint lab for 3yrs.

My first blog post

What will this blog be like, I wonder. What will its future be I wonder. Oh it could be so exciting, to be out there online to be free, my heart should be wildly rejoicing... oh whats the matter with me. I've always longed for attention, to connect with those I've never met, Now here I am facing adventure... then why am I quoting sound of music?